#22: The Pirate

Starring: Gene Kelly and Judy Garland
Dir: Vincente Minnelli (1948)

Um. Oh my. Um, where... where was this movi--(pardon)--WHERE WAS THIS MOVIE WHEN I WAS A HORMONAL TEENAGER?? WHERE?!? MY SOUL IS CRYING. GENE KELLY IN TIGHTY PIRATE CUTOFFS. ENTIRE YEARS WASTED. AN OCEAN OF REGRET! SO MUCH TO MAKE UP FOR!! HE EATS THE FREAKING CIGARETTE!!!!!!
First, let me just say, I'd always heard that this was one of MGM's biggest musical flops. I'd heard it was a box-office wreck. And having seen a few truly horrible musicals in my time (*cough*Athena*cough*), I thought it was best to be avoided. Besides, Gene Kelly with a mustache. But DAMN ALL OF YOU WHO LIED TO ME. DAMN YOU TO HADES!!
This movie was ADORABLE. It was hilarious and fantastic and not too long and the best kind of ridiculous and soooooooo incredibly cute. Okay so the musical numbers were horrendous (apart from the dancing) and I definitely expected more from Cole Porter, but the rest of the movie more than made up for that. Gene Kelly and Judy Garland were surprisingly endearing together, and watching Serafin scream his passionate declarations as Manuela stomped flat-footedly around her boudoir yowling like a banshee was easily one of my new most favorite movie moments, to be added to the mental list along with William Holden and Nancy Olson flirting on the edge of the bathtub in Sunset Boulevard. (I seriously need to make an actual list of these.)

I would be lying though if I didn't say that, apart from the obvious moneymakers like Tighty Pirate Cutoffs Dance, the real charm of this movie was Judy and Gene. The heart of their romance wasn't beautiful ballads and fifteen-minute Technicolor ballet sequences, it was screeching and throwing furniture and double-crossing and jittery, mustached attraction (respectively). And they were actually kind of believable.

I have no idea what the actors' relationship was like off set, but every shot of this movie looked like fun. I can never watch Singin' in the Rain without imagining Debbie Reynolds' bleeding feet, so I'd rather not look into the real story behind the scenes of The Pirate (Edit: I did. Wish I hadn't. Oh well), but just on the surface this movie seemed much more relaxed. Gene carried most of the big song and dance numbers, and Judy mainly had to sing (which was her thing anyway) and be funny. It worked. For some reason, watching it all felt like being in on the huge, over-budgeted musical parody.

Bad: The songs. Especially "Nina." I mean, if it wasn't for Gene's cigarette maneuver, just, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
Good: I always love Judy Garland as a comedienne. And... Gene Kelly is a fox.

'Nuff said.

Stars: 4.5 of 5