#31: The Heiress

Starring: Olivia de Havilland, Montgomery Clift, Ralph Richardson
Dir: William Wyler (1949)

Sexiest elbow grab in the history of film

Let's start with the plot. Catherine (Olivia de Havilland) is plain, unappealing, and wealthy. As she ages, her critical and overbearing father becomes resigned to her spinsterhood, but her aunt continues to trot her out for parties Just In Case. Then one night the dashing Morris Townsend (Montgomery Clift) meets her at a dance and she instantly falls head over heels. He is sweet, intelligent, doting, and... poor. Olivia's overprotective father takes one look and instantly suspects him because, you know, nobody could love his stupid daughter and if Monty is poor then he can only want one thing, right? Once Monty proposes to Olivia, Dad steps in to prevent the wedding. Olivia vows their love is real, so he threatens to cut off her inheritance as a test. And here's where the movie starts to suck - Dad's right. Monty instantly bails, and the now-destitute Olivia is supposed to be grateful for this deliverance.

But it hurts!! Olivia really is unappealing, yet you want to believe Monty has seen the good in her. She really is unlovable, but, as she herself hopes, might he not have seen past her awkwardness and loved her for her virtue? Maybe?? Unfortunately, no. So the fact all along that the only two men in her life who ever claimed to love her both see her as unwomanly, unlovely, and a disappointment, finally becomes clear to her. And it breaks her.

First, full disclosure: I thought Morris loved Catherine. I really did. I believed in Monty's earnest face, his awkward smile, his adorable shoulders-to-waist ratio and empty dance card. Ten minutes in and I was squealing and screencapping and clapping my little hands in glee! Daddy was a tyrant! True love would conquer all! Catherine would get married and loosen up a little and have a baby with Monty and then everything would be perfect in the end! Monty would be her deliverance, Catherine vowed that he would "love her for all those who didn't!"

Sexiest hand-kiss in the history of film

But by the final third of the movie, as the score grew gloomy and foreboding and Catherine started getting her Fierce on, I realized I was about to be disappointed. And I got mad. I pounded the couch cushions, I yelled at the screen, I would not accept the injustice. Right up to the last moment I thought something, somehow, might magically make it right. I thought Monty's mustache meant he was really a new man. But Dad, now dead, was still right.

Austin: "Your grace? Your charm? Your quick tongue and subtle wit?... Catherine, I've tried for months not to be unkind but it's time for you to realize the truth... 

A hundred women are prettier, a thousand more clever, but you have one virtue that outshines them all. Your money. You have nothing else."

Catherine: "He does not love me for that!"

Austin: "I've known you all your life and I've yet to see you learn anything. With one exception, my dear - you embroider neatly."

(Try not turning into a bitter old spinster after hearing something like that. From your dad.)

So, after the credits rolled, while cranking "The Man That Got Away" and cleaning my kitchen in a fit of frustration, I finally realized something: The cruel transformation, the life-altering betrayal, the steely life of solitude and abandonment - it was a Jane Austen novel without salvation. Morris Townsend is what happens to naive, sheltered women right before they get rescued by a Mr. Darcy ("We knew each other growing up, the man's a douche. Buuuuuuuuuut, here's me..."). And I realized that I was no wiser than Lydia or Marianne, that Morris was indeed a fortune-hunting douchebag, and so my wee little heart broke.

But could YOU say no to that face??

Before that moment, however, I believed in romance. Monty filling out the dance card. Catherine giggling with Aunt Penniman. The elbow grab. Austin's horrible rant against Monty in the sitting room, and Monty being so brave.

The every-present chamois gloves.

I realized watching Catherine ascend the stairs that I am not a Strong Woman. I'm not made of that steely stuff. But... here's my thought. If not being a Strong Woman lands me with anything near Montgomery Clift in my late-plain-30s...

I don't think I mind.

Stars: 4 of 5